A Final Thought for the Night

For the last few days and for the next two weeks or so, I’m going to force myself to relive a war. I can’t tell you what there is inside me that makes me need to do this – to remember the fear, the worry, the sadness and sometimes, the outright terror. It makes me remember a post I’ll be adding here soon about Aliza and a mistaken alarm that sent her and her school to bomb shelters – unprepared by teachers, who were themselves concerned and unsure whether there was a real attack taking place or a mistake.

For weeks, she relived that siren; kept describing how she had gotten separated from her class, with two friends -and how they cried in fear. But that’s for the tomorrows to come. For now, as I finally close down and prepare to go home after a very long day at work, I have one final thought.

I am here. In Jerusalem. The capital of my country; a most beautiful city. For all the rockets and the hatred; for all the rock throwing and the lies; for all the violence – it is I who sit here and not them. Someone once told me a story – he learned that he had been picked to spend two years in the United States doing outreach work. He was very excited about this new adventure and called his elderly father to tell him.

Rather than rejoice, his father told him he had to think carefully about what he had done. What mistake, perhaps, he had committed, what sin, that God was sending him into exile. Yes, there was a wonderful part to his leaving Israel for two years, but there was also a very serious part as well.

At the end of the day, as night slips into my country, I am here. So blessed. So thankful. So proud.

May God bless this beautiful land with grace, with safety, with peace, with people who always love it and honor it. Am Yisrael Chai. – the people of Israel live.

4 Comments on A Final Thought for the Night

  1. Your country is the US. You have NO right of the lands you are in right now. NO rights!!

    Your kids yes, especially the ones born there. But I think they too belong to your family and your land is the US. (But them coming there so young and helpless of course they can call themselves Israelis. They were forced there.


    Well… as an audience just observing this mess you got yourselfs into I can tell u about my jewish friends they fled from different countries, with Israel as an option, decided that they didnt want to send their sons at war for a country they didnt grow up in.

    And now?


    They are citizens as any citizen. We live work and laugh together.

    I told my two (oh so important) jewish friends you´ll never publish this. Let´s see who is right.

  2. Hi, I am reading your replay of Cast Lead, and I too am in a similar place. Once again I am in the same place, with one soldier in the army and the other looking forward to some reserve duty, even tho’ in university during exam time. The most striking thing was that the anniversary (if it can be called that) has been remembered by our children (who live on the border) as an incredibly uplifting time. They spent so much time making food – cookies, soup, cakes, sandwiches – for the soldiers who were literally on our doorstep. They spent time huddling near the tanks and APC’s while rockets and mortars were being fired at their homes but were exhilirated at being out there and doing their part to help. They knew the army was there to protect them in a very literal way. These kids had lived under the threat of those hate filled rockets for so long, that the sound of an incoming one could let them know what type, from where and whether to duck or run for cover. Good luck to you and your family and thanks for your heart touching blog.
    Once again, from another soldier’s mother near Gaza

  3. To Anonymous – I never could resist a dare – I’ve answered your comments here: http://israelisoldiersmother.blogspot.com/2012/01/dare-from-anonymous-423.html

    You were wrong about my not publishing your post. You were also wrong about this not being my land. I hope you’ll take the time to read the post I wrote in your honor and perhaps you and your Jewish friends will come visit my country, Israel – to learn the truth, rather than the lies you read in the media.

  4. Hey Another Soldier’s Mother near Gaza – thanks…it’s so hard to look back and remember how scared I was, how desperate those days were but yes, also the amazing pride I felt in how Israelis supported our soldiers – and how the communities near Gaza loved our soldiers and welcomed them home. I remember seeing the signs hanging all over the place like “We love our soldiers” and “Thank you to our soldiers”. Yes, good memories and bad ones combined. Stay safe. My guess is that in the not too distant future, we’re heading right back into it again.

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