The Best and the Worst of Us

By Paula R. Stern  

December 12, 2002

Despite the horror surrounding the disappearance and murder of two-year-old Hodaya Kedem Pimstein, what emerges is that her life and death brought out the best and the worst of us. It is hard to believe such sickness lived among us, almost impossible to fathom the utter evilness that dwelled in that man's heart and poisoned him such that he was capable of committing such an atrocity. This is the worst of us.

The knowledge that if the system didn't fail little Hodaya, it does often fail other families who need assistance just as much as Hodaya did. In the hours that followed her supposed disappearance, we all hoped that we could find her, but the lack of attention that too many dysfunctional families receive dooms other children to abuse and poverty in our country. This is the worst of us.

The ability to lie to thousands, claim such innocence, and commit such betrayal of the innocent and the helpless speaks of an evilness so vast, it is hard to comprehend that it dwelled among us, worked among us, and was able to fool us so incredibly. Sickness of the mind and soul permeated this man and while we can only hope that he will be punished by the courts, haunted by Hodaya's soul and damned by a Higher Authority, we also have to believe that there must have been signs that were ignored by a society too often wrapped up in itself to care. This too is the worst of us.

With the news of her death, we are left to question how such a man was able to win our sympathies for those few short hours when we so desperately wanted to believe that some outside evil had taken Hodaya and that somehow, we might be able to bring her back to all of us, and to her mother, in time.

But, it was the best of us that also shone through this tragedy. The thousands of volunteers who left their jobs and their families to search through the night and through the rain told us that our hearts remain free and loving. The high school children who left school to find her reminds us that despite whatever ills we believe plague our youth, they remain optimistic and open to volunteering to help others. This is the best of us.

The prayers that were said, or thought, were a reminder that we still have the capacity to hope and to believe in happy endings and greater justice. From great distances, thousands of police, emergency services, and ordinary volunteers came to search. They listened in the streets with the hope that they might hear a tiny cry, searched buildings and basements, desperately hoping to find little Hodaya in time. This is the best of us.

There was fear and uncertainty in the minds of mothers everywhere. Find this child, our hearts and minds pleaded. Jerusalem's city workers were told they could leave their jobs to go look for the baby, and many did. Bus drivers looked around as they were driving, people scanned the fields from their cars. Whispers of the evil that might have harmed her and the passing hours that hinted that time was running out were overshadowed by the desire to wrest a miracle. Hodaya united Israel behind one single ray of hope, a solitary cause. This too is the best of us.

Ultimately, the evil of the father will have to be examined. Were there warning signs that might have prevented this from happening? Could there have been a way to anticipate such depravity? The answer is probably not. Until the world experienced a Holocaust such as that inflicted on Europe during World War II, who could have anticipated, who would have believed such evil could live among us?

Even Hodaya's mother could not have known the blackness that lives in Eli Pimstein's heart. Nothing she ever did to him could have justified what he has done in return and so she must find a way to accept this horror without feeling she could have avoided it. There are simply times when evil does triumph temporarily over good, when a sick mind can damage a good heart and an evil man can hurt so many others.

It is beyond human nature to believe that a father could harm such a beautiful little baby, willingly, gleefully, with such anger and vengeance. He represents the worst of us but it is up to us to make sure that we defeat this sickness, that it is the best of us we remember.

Moments after learning of the death of Hodaya, her family found the graciousness, the goodness, to remember to thank the thousands who had given Hodaya their hearts and their time. In their pain, they called out to the best of us and now we must find comfort in having responded.

May her family find comfort in knowing that despite living such a short life, Hodaya brought more love into this world than many who live an entire lifetime. Thousands around the world prayed for her, searched for her, so desperately wanted to bring her home. And now, we can only hope she is in a better place and that in her memory, we will strive to bring out the best of us more often.

May her family be comforted among the mourners of Zion, and may they know no more sorrow.