Of all the posts that I made during the war, this was another I remember clearly. I thought, really thought, I was handling it – this one showed me that I wasn’t quite as together as I thought. I remember wanting to hit myself in the side of my head and say, “CONCENTRATE” – but that was meaningless. I couldn’t concentrate on anything other than wondering where Elie was, what was happening, when I would speak to him again, and when it would end. I kept checking the news, listening to the radio. It was cold that day and running the oven seemed a great way to pass time and warm the house. Here’s the post from January 2, showing my brain was just…worthless…
Scatterbrained…just…Scatterbrained (January 2, 2009)
I went into my bomb shelter – where I keep my pots and pans and mixing bowls. I’m making vanilla cake muffins with pineapple. I looked at the stack. The white or the yellow bowl? Definitely the yellow bowl, I decided. I reached up and took the white one to the table and began mixing the cake.
All done. I made 24 little muffins, each with a bit of pineapple in it, and put them into the oven. When they are finished, I thought to myself, I’ll continue making something else. Maybe I’ll make brownies. Good idea. Well, the white bowl still has batter in it, so I got the yellow one. It was only when I looked up to get the yellow one that I remembered deciding to take the white one. All I could say this time, was that with one bowl up there from which to choose, I got it right.
I went to add eggs to the mix. There’s already an egg in the cup. That means that instead of adding 6 eggs to the white cake, I added only 5 and left one egg in the cup.
I don’t know if I should laugh or cry about it. No, crying would be dumb. I have so much more I could cry about. This morning as I attempted to bake cakes in the wrong bowls and with too few eggs:
And it is only 10:20 in the morning…and I don’t know if those rockets are flying over Elie’s head.